The Zodiac Sign’s Anaconda Don’t Want None Unless…

shitthesignssay:

shitthesignssay:

Aries- they can chase you first…and maybe light you on fire (just an idea)

Taurus- you’re cooking dinner and doing the dishes after

Gemini- you can keep up with the conversation they’re bound to have during

Cancer- their mom isn’t home and it’s between 3-5 pm when the cooking network plays reruns

Leo- you follow them on instagram and never mention this in public

Virgo- they can read you the list of reasons why their anaconda is superior to all others

Libra- you acknowledge that their anaconda is being politically correct in choosing you for having a great personality and not your outwardly appearance like many horoscopes suggest

Scorpio- you sign this waiver handing over your rights

Sagittarius- you can give them some breathing room afterwards

Capricorn- it’s on the specified days of the year where their calendar allows it for a reasonable amount of time

Aquarius- they’re bored and you seem interesting

Pisces- you wanna cuddle after and watch Glee

If you repost this without crediting me, you’re a piece of shit.

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